Wednesday, May 5, 2010

I'm not laughing at your cats

People keep sending me LOL Cats and I can't get them to stop.

I really don't like most cats. It's no fault of their own, cats are adaptable. They take on the elements that surround them. Their survival is based on blending in and dominating. It's a tough thing to do.

Based on this truth, house cats raised by losers resemble losers. Bitter old ladies will often have a house full of wretched, bitter cats. Either that, or they have a smugness like they are superior. They probably are, where they come from, but if I get a tail in my face, that cat's gonna go flying.

Here is the point, the captions for these pictures are often demeaning to anything intelligent. "I can haz?" What is that? Spell checkers all over the world are desperately trying to warn these LOL Cat people before they post, "NO! Don't save this as final! This will make you look like an idiot!"

Cat's don't have bad grammar. It's a fact. They think faster than we can possibly follow. You don't have to like them to know this. So stop misrepresenting.

Let's put it this way: any animal that can wear a heavy, noisy collar with all his contact information written on it AND sneak up on a bird THAT HAS WINGS AND CAN FLY is not just a furball with a cute smile. That's a killing machine.

Speaking of killing machines, Sylvester Stallone sometimes had bad grammar, but we know he knows how to order a burger:

Oh yeah, I WILL have a cheeseburger (not I can haz CERVEZA).

So show some respect, or my cat's gonna team up with Sly. Who KNOWS what'll happen then.

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